Microsoft Says No HDMI 360s; Hopes We Are All As Dumb As We Look
Among the things that never fails to amuse me is the power of a corporation to play coy. Take this week at CES, for example, when Microsoft general manager Chris Satchell decided to try and cockblock the 360 HDMI rumors in an interview with Gamespot.
Gamespot: “What can you tell us about the HDMI-enabled Xbox 360 rumors that have been going around?”
Chris Satchell: “We’re always working on prototypes and new technologies and just playing with stuff in Redmond to see what’s interesting. I think at the moment we have the widest available connections on the system. If you want to get great HD, I think we’ve got a good solution for that. In the future it’s interesting to see where standards evolve to. I think one of the problems that the whole industry, us and entertainment, are facing at the moment is we’re in this world where standards are evolving very quickly.”
“At the moment, everything you might have seen is just looking at our experimentation back in Redmond, not really a product that we’re thinking about announcing.” (emphasis mine)
“Experimentation?” He makes it sound like a couple of Xbox devs got their hands on some screwdrivers and snuck into the shed out back when J Allard wasn’t looking one afternoon. This is not experimentation. Experimentation is what you did back in college with a couple tabs of ecstasy and another dude. When you produce enough HDMI-capable Xbox 360s that they can be safely leaked to the public from someone’s home, that’s called pre-market testing.
I understand that corporations need to keep these sorts of things secret until they can be unveiled. I’m no MBA and many of the subtle nuances are lost on me, but it’s not hard to imagine how leaks can tip competitors hands, affect stock prices, etc. To that end, being coy is always going to be a somewhat standard strategy. However, I think that attempting this level of deflection after full videos have already leaked onto the net makes you look a bit stupid. Reading Satchell’s comments, all I can think about is the song “It Wasn’t Me.” When a spouse or parent walks in on you when the bra is off and you’ve got a hand down her pants, the time for inventive excuses has already passed.
Here’s the thing, though: We’ve already got established language to handle these sorts of scenarios. When that mean, scary ol’ reporter looks you in the eye and asks you about the blatant, obviously true gossip, you fold your arms behind your back, stare down at the one toe that’s nervously scuffing the floor in front of you and say “We don’t comment on rumors.” Then we all wink and chuckle at each other and go on with business as usual. We’re not that fucking stupid, after all.